My
brother and his wife and 4 children are enjoying a week in Bussleton, WA, so as (the wonderful) Auntie Jen, I’m in charge of the house. And that includes my niece’s pet: a stick
insect.
I
wasn’t that interested when she was showing Sticky off and talking about what great pets they are. In fact I can’t even remember any of Sticky’s virtues, but now
I have a problem.
Last
night I switched on the lights in the study. There was a shot crack, the bulb
blew, and then the whole house was in darkness. Fortunately my niece likes to
read in bed when she should be sleeping, and I know where she keeps her torch.
After
some fuse flicking and a call to their neighbour – I couldn’t even sort out the
safety switch light fuse issue – I was back in light. And thought I’d just drop
in and say hi to the insect.
This
is the email I just sent to my brother and his wife:
So, you know how I
said he was all good on Sunday night? Last night, after the lighting incident,
I went in to Scout's room to borrow her lamp as the lighting's a bit dim in the
study now.
I said hi to Sticky
and noticed that he looked, well, he was hanging in a rather precarious and
surely uncomfortable position. I flicked his branch (gently of course) and got
a couple of very limp reflexes from a couple of his bits. Thought (hoped) he
was just sleeping.
But he's still the
same today and I'm very worried. (About a f*@!ing stick thing, I can't believe
it.)
I've done some
research, and these guys do have a lifespan of 6 - 12 months apparently. But HE
CAN'T DIE on my watch. I'm terrified. Is there anything in terms of maintenance
that you can recommend? Help! Can we bring him back to life?
There's still a slight
reflex, but he's wrapped around a leaf with his head tilted back like that
fliptop kid that used to be on the Colgate ad and I'm wandering in there every
hour hoping to see he's climbed up the side of the cage and is eating through
a eucalyptus leaf.
What do
you do when you’ve killed your niece’s pet?
I’ve
only been back in the country for 2 months, and have so far basked in praise
and daily, ‘I’m so glad your homes.’ I’ve even been thinking about writing
something for a Families magazine,
maybe even a Parents one, about ‘Don’t
underestimate aunties…we’re almost as special as grandparents.’
But
that, along with possible house-sitting opportunities, seems entirely unsuitable
now.
I
thought about saying that I hadn’t visited him the whole time they were away.
He’d been given enough fresh leaves to get through the week, and I’d been told
he’d be no trouble. Imagine my surprise!
But now
I really think he’s really dead.
I
suggested to a friend today that he’s suffering, missing his attentive and
sweet animal-loving owner. My friend, and her 3 daughters, didn’t grace this with
a reply.
I’ve
tried blowing gentle resuscitation breaths at him – he seems to have become a
‘he’ in the last 24 hours – and talking to him, telling him that his beloved
will be home soon and all will return to normal. But he still seems to be dead.
It’s
another 6 days until the family returns. Waiting for a reply to my email is
more tortuous than any will-he-won’t-he date call, and though I tell myself not
to go in there and check for some miraculous recovery I keep going back.
My
niece and I look very alike and I’ve always thought we have a very special
bond. Now I fear whenever I ask her to try something new with me, or get in the
car with me, even when I cook dinner for the family, she’ll look at me with my
own blue eyes, and if she gets to the point where she doesn’t say it, she’ll always
be thinking, ‘You killed Sticky. Just 5 days in your care, and you killed him.’
It’s
possible I’ll spend hours trawling through the neighbourhood hunting another
Sticky to do a switch. But I reckon, even though it’s only a f*@!ing insect, I reckon she’d know.
I could always get on a plane back to London…
